Tattered Past

Tattered Past: My ongoing journey through genealogy, history, writing, self-exploration and art. ~~~ Rita Ackerman

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Today's Ponderings

Our country’s flag ripples in the wind, a cool wind that hints of autumn
even here in the desert where the temperatures run in the triple digits for months on end.
The smells on the wind are drowned out by the café mocha (with whipped cream)
that sits by the side of my laptop. I used to hate going anywhere alone. A feeling left
over from a lonely childhood or peer pressure during adolescence that convinced me
that being alone meant nobody wanted to be with me.

Even if being alone was by my own choice.

Now in my 50’s I  treasure being alone. To write mostly. I think nothing of heading to
the local Starbucks or Barnes & Noble for a few hours with the keypad or
pen and paper.

Today is even more special because I can sit outside for the first time in months.
I can enjoy the breeze in my hair and even the sound of traffic.
The day started out bad with more pain than usual after a restless night. And fasting for
routine blood work. Sitting in the office crowded with people including a man next to
me who smelled of stale cigarettes and sweat. I felt the bad mood building.

I went home and had breakfast, petted the dog and tried to figure out what to do with my day;
feeling more lost and depressed as time went on. My husband called and convinced me to get out of
the house and get a coffee or chai. Spend some time with my laptop and enjoy the beautiful day.
On the way here I started noticing things that made me smile:

A license plate that I read as Happy Grammy (Hpy Grmy)

And a young guy riding a bicycle with a dog trailer behind .. . . 
a Chihuahua peeking out, enjoying the view and the cool breeze.

A couple on a three wheeler bicycle, like my grandma used to ride, the driver a young guy with long
curly hair and in the basket on the back a young women in scrubs; long blond hair flying in the wind. 

It’s time to start enjoying our wonderful lifestyle here in the desert. Doug and I have made plans to

become tourists and go out and about with camera, Flat Stanley and adventurous hearts. Sitting
outside feels like when we visited Seattle and had lunch at a little bistro near the wharf. Sometimes it
takes looking at where you are in a different way to truly appreciate it.

I’m smiling and I do believe the world is smiling back.